


Hey

by denna5



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Soulmark AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 16:49:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7941871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/denna5/pseuds/denna5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint hears the words, hears the words he just saw this morning but can’t quite believe them. Barnes said it, is staring out Clint right now, eyes curious despite how tired they look, despite the circles under them.  Clint has heard so much about him, so much of it from Steve, and this can’t be right.</p><p>A soulmate au where words are said and not said and feelings are complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hey

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a tumblr post from long ago that I can't find right now. Hope you enjoy. There is also some art that was made by brucebanenr that can be found at this link. http://brucebanenr.tumblr.com/post/149868200615/so-this-is-my-art-for-the-amazing-story-hey

The house is quiet when he wakes, always so much quieter than the city, and Clint has gotten used to it the last few days. It has been a nice change of pace from constant missions but it does get a bit boring. Repairs can only hold his attention for so long after all. He has been here alone but that should change today and Clint pulls himself out of bed, makes himself go to the bathroom to take a shower. Steve’s message didn’t say when exactly Clint would get company today but it will be today and he should probably make sure he is dressed before then and coffee might be good.

He turns the shower on, steps into the warm spray and he is glad that the water heater he put in last year is still working well. It is going to get a bit of a workout soon, Steve has a tendency to use the hottest water he can and he isn’t the only one that will be bunking here for a bit.  Clint has spent the last few days making sure everything is in working condition and so far nothing has broken and he enjoys a long shower this morning, knows that even with two bathrooms he may not get  a chance for this again for a while.

The shower is nice and after a while he turns it off, steps out of it and as he does, he glances down, sees the black letters on his left hip. He looks at the words for just a moment, runs a finger over them like he used to when he first got them. Back then, he thought that they meant something, that they were a promise of sorts, meant that there was someone out there for him, but he has never heard them spoken, never met his match.  As he got older, he thought it might be a mistake he had words in the first place, after all not everyone had them, and he decided that maybe it was best he never heard them. He isn’t good with people, not the way he needs to be, not how someone would want their soulmate to be, and it has been for the best that he isn’t tied to anyone in that way. He has people he trusts, people he cares for, not many but it is enough and he pushes the thought of soulmates out of his mind, covers up the mark with his clothes and heads down the stairs.

He drinks a pot of coffee, checks over the kitchen, it is fully stocked right now, and once he feels more awake, he grabs his bow. The sun is up, shining brightly, warm but not stifling and Clint wants to be out in it. Steve knows where the range is and he will probably look there first so Clint goes there. He needs this, needs his bow like he needs coffee, and sometimes this feels like it wakes him up more than the caffeine does.

It is still quiet right now, just the sound of the wind, sound of the arrows hitting the target. It goes like that for a little while, Clint’s shots the only thing really breaking the sound but he does hear some noise a bit in the distance, the sound of a vehicle and he knows he won’t be alone for much longer.  He just keeps at his arrows and soon enough there is the sound of footsteps coming and when he glances, he sees Steve and a man that Clint has heard about but hasn’t met yet.

James Barnes is a name that Clint had read in history books, a name put alongside Steve Rogers, and it is still crazy to think that the man that he read about, the man that Steve told him about is, the same one who he heard whispers about. The winter soldier was not in history books but he was in stories, ghost stories and rumors and Clint always knew those better than history books. It is still crazy that he is going to meet him but it was crazy once that he was going to meet Captain America so Clint is just going to go with it.

They are getting close and Clint can hear them talking softly, can’t make out words and he doesn’t say anything right now, just lines up another shot. He has been expecting them so he will just wait for them to say something and the arrow hits it target, right in center.

“Figured you would be out here.”

Steve says this and Clint just gives a little shrug, aims another arrow and sends it flying. It lands right next to the other one, close together. It is a good shot, a difficult shot, and sometimes Clint likes to show off a bit, especially when Steve is around and it probably won’t be that much different with Barnes here.  Clint shoot another arrow, keeps them all near center and after a moment, the quiet is broken again.

“He says you can hit the Robin Hood shot. Can you?”

 Clint hears the words, hears the words he just saw this morning but can’t quite believe them. Barnes said it, is staring out Clint right now, eyes curious despite how tired they look, despite the circles under them.  Clint has heard so much about him, so much of it from Steve, and this can’t be right. He is expecting an answer and Clint  says the only thing he can think of.

“Hey. So you have been talking about  me, Rogers?”

He says all of this in a bit of rush, directs the last part to Steve and Barnes had tensed up for just a moment before relaxing again. Clint can do this, can act like nothing has happened, because really nothing has.

“A little bit.  You mind showing off? He wants to see it.”

Steve says this and there is just a little bit of pleading in his voice, like he wants to see it as well. Clint has showed him the shot before, a few times actually, and Steve always seems impressed by it. Clint tries to keep himself calm, gives a bit of smirk as he gets another arrow ready.

“I can do that. Be prepared to be impressed.”

He says this to Barnes and the man just gives a little nod, a hint of challenge in his eyes. Clint just shifts his focus to one of the blank targets, shoots an arrow dead center and then loads another.  He takes a breath, focuses and lets the arrow fly. There is the sound of wood splitting  just a bit and  he turns and smirks just a bit, the performer in him coming to the surface.

“The amazing Hawkeye, here all week.”

He says this, bows just a bit, and Steve rolls his eyes at him but smiles and Barnes moves towards the target.  Clint watches as he moves a hand forward, his flesh one, touches the arrow sticking out of the other. There is a brief upturning of his lips, the skin around his eyes crinkling a bit, a brief smile and it is a good look on him. Clint pushes down the fluttery feeling, focuses on keeping his mask up right now.

“Hawkeye, I have heard of you. Heard you were good. You are.”

He  says it simply and Clint just gives another small smirk, can play cocky right now because it will be easier to do that than to think about what is happening.

“Damn right I am. World’s best marksman.”

The title makes Barnes snort, shake his head a bit, looks like he wants to challenge  that claim but Steve speaks before he can.

“You guys can have your sniper contest later, we should go to the house, get some food. It was  a bit of a drive.”

Steve says this and Clint just gives a nod, packs up. They head back to the house then, Clint leading with Steve just a few steps away and Barnes next to him. They talk as they walk,  just general things about the layout of the house, how long they plan to stay. Clint finds himself directing a lot of his talk to Steve but he doesn’t ignore Barnes, doesn’t want any of this to seem awkward, doesn’t want either of them to think too much about how Clint is acting. 

The next couple of hours go in a bit of blur, Clint just focusing on getting through them, of not letting the other two know what has happened.  It isn’t too difficult, he gets them to the kitchen, gets out some food, and sits with them for a while, talks.  It isn’t too long before they separate, Steve showing Bucky to the room that will be his for a little while and Clint is alone again, alone with his thoughts.

After so long, he never expected his words to be said but now they have been and he isn’t sure what if anything he should do about it.  It isn’t that the idea of being Barnes’ soulmate is upsetting even though for a lot of people it would be considering his history as the winter soldier, but it is more Clint’s own history that may be a problem. He has issues, lots of issues, and relationships are not his strong suit. Clint has read the files, has heard Steve talk about Barnes, the man has gone through hell and back and is still standing and he deserves something, someone good. Clint just doesn’t think he can be the sort of good that Barnes needs, that Barnes deserves. With that thought in mind, Clint leaves the kitchen and heads up stairs, decision made. He won’t say anything about the words, won’t let anyone know, and that will be the best thing for everyone involved.

&&&&&

It is night now, the day is over and Bucky sits alone right now, sits on a soft mattress in a room that is going to be his for a little while. It is kind of nice, having a space that is his own, no guards outside the door, and he likes the quiet. It is comfortable enough here and maybe he will be able to sleep alright tonight. The last months have been difficult, remembering who he is,  letting Steve find him, destroying the triggers, and he still feels a bit unsure about everything, still needs time to adjust. It is why he is here now, this out of the way house with only Steve and Barton who he just met today and he thinks about the other man as he sits on the bed.

He had heard of Barton before, seen a file on Hawkeye, but it is a bit different meeting him in person. He is just as good of a shot as his file said and there is a confidence about him when he shoots and Bucky had been impressed with that. Barton had shown them around, talked to both of them easily enough, and he didn’t approach Bucky with too much fear or weariness.  He was cautious around him but not in the same way a lot of people are and Bucky appreciated it. Barton treated him like a person and not just a threat and it was nice, something it is taking Bucky a bit of time to get used to.  He thinks Barton can be a friend but there is something that has been bugging him just a bit all day and right now he thinks about it, looks down at the word in the crook of his right arm, the black hey.

Some people have words, a sign that someone is meant for them, a soul mate and Bucky is apparently one of those people and Barton said that word to him today and he has been wondering about it since. Hey is such a simple statement and Bucky isn’t entirely sure it was directed at him but he has still thought about it since Barton said it, wonders if it could mean anything. He traces the word with metal fingers and thinks back on the encounter this morning, goes over everything that was done and said and decides that Barton’s hey could not be the one meant for him.

 He spoke to Barton first, words distinct and unmistakable and if they were on Barton’s skin, surely he would have said something. Unless he was disappointed by who said them but Bucky tries not to dwell on that thought, pushes it aside. He shouldn’t think about that right now, shouldn’t think about how he probably shouldn’t be anyone’s soulmate, shouldn’t think about all the blood on his hands, about how broken he is.  Today has been a good day and Bucky chooses to think about that instead.  He settles down into the soft bed, grabs the book off the night stand that he found on a shelf earlier and starts to read,  lets himself get lost in someone’s else’s story for a while instead of his own.

&&&&&

Clint tries not to think about the words, about what they mean, and instead the first few days of Barnes’s visit, Clint tries to focus on other things. He starts up on some more of the repairs the house needs,  watches some bad tv,  keeps up his training, bugs Steve a bit because that can be fun, and tries not to act like he is avoiding Barnes in anyway. It won’t do any good to ignore the man, will just draw more attention to his behavior so Clint doesn’t ignore  but tries not to pay too much attention to Bucky.

He fails.

It isn’t something Clint means to do it,  he just can’t help but notice things. It is a skill he has had most of his life, paying attention to people’s patterns and moods made the difference sometimes between getting hurt or not and when he got older, it was useful in other ways. It helped him to read crowds sometimes, helped him with his SHIELD work, and it isn’t something he can really turn off . He notices what people do even if sometimes he pretends he doesn’t.

Clint can see all the little things Bucky does, like how whenever he touches one of them, he tries to make sure it is with his flesh hand and not the metal.   He notices that Bucky has taken his coffee differently each morning, different amounts of sugar, vanilla creamer sometimes, milk others, like he is testing stuff out, figuring out what he likes.   Sometimes, Barnes drinks the coffee quickly like he thinks he won’t have it in a few minutes  and other times he nurses a cup all morning. It isn’t just coffee that he does that with, Clint has seen the way he eats, fast sometimes, other times drawing each bite out.  It is behavior Clint has seen before, it is the behavior of someone who hasn’t always had regular meals  and it is just one sign of many of how much Bucky has gone through.

Clint sees the dark circles under Barnes’s eyes, sees the tension in his body sometimes, the haunted look in his eyes.  They are all things that Clint has seen before, hidden a little better when Nat wore them and painfully obvious when he looked in the mirror after Loki. Barnes was used just like them, longer than both of them, and it has taken a toll on him but he is still here, still alive and mending and Clint admires that, respects that and it is why he can’t completely avoid Bucky and that is how he finds himself speaking up when he hears him approach the living room one night while he is up and awake due to his own nightmares.

“If you can’t sleep, you can watch this movie with me, I will even share my cookies if you promise not to eat all of them.”  


Barnes doesn’t say anything, just comes to the couch and sits down next to Clint.   There is a moment of quiet and Clint just  holds the cookies out to Bucky and he reaches out and takes one, takes a bite and chews it before speaking.

“What are you watching?”  


“Princess Bride. Seen it?”

As soon as it is out of his mouth Clint knows it is a dumb question but it can’t really be taken back now. For his part, Bucky just snorts and shakes his head.

“Can’t say I have. Not much time for movie watching the last few years. Is it good?”

“It is one of the best. We have to start from the beginning, you have to watch from the beginning  so you can fully appreciate it.”

That is all Clint says as he restarts the movie.  After a few minutes, he holds out some cookies to Bucky who takes one with only a second’s worth of  hesitation.  He eats it quickly and Clint just offers him another before eating one of his own.

“These are good.”

Bucky says this as he reaches for another one.

“Nutter butters are the best.”

It is all Clint says as he eats another cookie himself.

“I didn’t think you would be up so late.”

Barnes says this as he takes another cookie.  He doesn’t have to give Bucky a reason, doesn’t have to explain but he thinks it might do the other man some good to know he isn’t the only one with problems sleeping.

“Couldn’t sleep, had nightmares. Did Steve tell you about the battle of New York, about Loki?”

He asks now and his voice doesn’t shake when he says Loki’s name though it used to. Bucky gives just a bit of a nod as he speaks.

“A little bit, said you were compromised for a little while by him.”

“I was. He took me out of myself, made me do things I wouldn’t have otherwise.  That is what I have nightmares about, not being in control. It isn’t as bad as it used to be but tonight I can’t get back to sleep, so movies and cookies seem like a good idea and it is no problem having you join me. Everyone should watch the Princess Bride at least once.”

It is an invitation to Bucky, a way of letting him know that Clint gets it and if Bucky wants to talk they can or they can just watch the movie.  Bucky just looks at him for a long moment before taking another cookie and then speaks .

“It seems like a good plan to me.”

The next few hours pass with movies and cookies, most of which Barnes ends up eating, and some little bits of conversation scattered throughout.  Clint has had worse sleepless nights and he ends up falling asleep on the couch after a while, wakes up to the smell of coffee coming from the kitchen and the feel of a blanket that he knows he didn’t put on himself and it is sort of nice that someone didn’t want him getting cold. He moves the blanket off of himself and makes his way to the kitchen now and he isn’t  really surprised to find Bucky already there though he is a bit surprised that there is already a dirty plate in the sink and no sign of Steve.

“He went running, hasn’t come back yet. We thought we would let you sleep. Coffee?”

Bucky has a cup in his hands, holds it out to Clint and he takes it, gives a nod of thanks and takes a drink.  It is just how he makes it for himself and it looks like he isn’t the only one who has been paying attention to morning routines.  Bucky has turned back to the stove now, is finishing up some eggs and Clint just goes to the table and sits down, drinks up the coffee. Soon enough Bucky is setting down as well, has placed a plate in front of Clint and starts in on his own eggs. They just sit and eat for  a bit before Bucky speaks.

“Sorry I ate most of your cookies last night.”

There is just a hint of apology in his voice and Clint just gives a shrug now.

“No big deal. I have more hidden away, I’ll bring  them out for our next movie night.  There are worse ways to spend a night not being able to sleep and you really need to see more 80’s comedies.  ”

It is Clint’s way of telling Bucky  that he is willing to distract him again when needed and Bucky gives another smile.

“I’ll watch more of your movies and maybe introduce you to some classics of my own sometime.”

It is an agreement and the rest of breakfast passes easily.

He doesn’t avoid Bucky after that, starts to spend time with him even after they all leave the farm house and start training as a team again.  Nat teases him about adopting another assassin but doesn’t say too much more about his time with Bucky and Steve tells him that he always knew that the two of them would get along and Clint tries not to think about the words on his hip or how his stomach flutters a bit when Bucky smiles.

&&&&&

Months have passed since he first met Clint and so much has changed in that time.  Bucky feels more sure of himself, goes on missions with the others now, and the bad days are farther in between each other. He isn’t quite the Bucky Barnes that Steve remembers but he resembles him now, feels like a person again and not just a weapon.  He knows that part of that has to do with getting his memories back, some of it due to not being in Hydra’s clutches anymore, some to being around Steve again, and some of it is due to Clint and Bucky is glad that he has met the other man.

Clint understands, understands in a way few people do, in a way few people can, and it has helped Bucky to have him around.  Clint listens when Bucky needs him to, distracts him when he needs that, and being around Clint helps, helps to have someone who knows what it is like to be broken but has mended themself. Clint helps and Bucky can’t help but start to care for him as the months pass, care for him in a way that is more than just simple friendship and he isn’t sure what to do about it. He isn’t the only one to notice that his feelings for Clint are a little more than platonic.

“You know you should talk to Clint.  “

Steve says this to him one day when it is just the two of them in the apartment, a movie playing that neither of them having been paying much attention to.  Steve has been sketching and Bucky has been texting Clint, just got one of his messages only a few seconds ago, a snarky comment that brought a smile to his face and he turns and looks up from his phone now, keeps his voice casual as he speaks with Steve.

“We talk all the time.”

Steve rolls his eyes at him.

“I mean you should  ask him out, it is ok to do that now.”

This isn’t the first time Steve has brought this up and Bucky really wishes that Steve would drop it.

“I know I could ask him out but that doesn’t mean I should. I don’t think it is supposed to be like that between us.”

Bucky finds himself looking at the hey on the inside of his arm again and he really wishes that the one that Clint said months ago was this one.  Steve catches his glance and gives him an understanding look.

“He did say hey to you when you first met, maybe you should take that as a sign. “

Bucky just shakes his head.

“If he had my words, he probably would have said something. What I first said to him was pretty distinct, you were there, you should know.”

“I know but I also know that not everyone has words, don’t know if Clint has them or not, and I know that you two are good for each other.  Clint cares for you  and I think you should take a chance.”

Steve says this and his voice is sincere, makes it sound so reasonable. Maybe it could work out if Bucky tried, he won’t know unless he does but the idea of possibly losing Clint is terrifying. Still it could be worth the risk and for now Bucky just simply gives a nod right now.

“Maybe I should. I’ll try. Now if we are done discussing my possible love life, maybe we could talk about yours and the fact that you have been making heart eyes at Wilson.”

It is very satisfying to see Steve turn just a bit pink  and to hear him mumble something about not making heart eyes.  Bucky just gives him a smile now.

“Whatever you say, pal.”

Steve changes the subject then and Bucky lets him but he does think about what Steve says the rest of the day. Maybe Clint doesn’t have words or his words have already been spoken and something happened to the other person or maybe the words were said and the person ended up being more of a platonic soulmate than one of romance.  There are a lot of maybes, possibly enough that everything could work out, and Bucky just needs to work out the courage to try.  Clint is worth it and he promises himself to let Clint know soon how he feels and to find out if the other man feels the same and hopes he doesn’t lose Clint if he doesn’t.

&&&&&

His feelings for Bucky have been steadily increasing and Clint tries to hide them the best he can. It would be easier if he spent less time around the other man but Clint can’t get himself to do that now.  He likes being around the other man, likes making him smile and laugh, and a part of him regrets not telling him about the words but another part is pretty sure it was the right call to make.  Bucky deserves so much and Clint isn’t sure that he can be enough so he doesn’t say anything about his feelings and just takes what he can from the time they do spend together.

They are together right now, sparring in the training facility and this is something they do often.  It is a challenge, neither of them likes to back down, but it is also fun, has a hint of playfulness to it.  They exchange hits but also sometimes they just like to see if they can get the other off of their feet. That is what they have been doing now and Clint has managed to get Bucky down, has pinned him to the ground.

“Maybe we should have made a bet on this, on how many times I could knock you down. I could have had you buy me coffee when I won.”

Clint’s words are teasing and he keeps his tone light, tries not to show just how nice it feels to have Bucky under him, to have him so close.  Bucky is staring up to him and something passes through his eyes that looks a bit like nervousness crossed with hopefulness.

“I could still get you coffee after this. We could see a movie after, maybe get some dinner, make a whole afternoon of it, if you want to.”

Bucky says all this  while he is looking up at Clint, that same hopeful and nervous look in his eyes and sounds like he is asking Clint out. It can’t be that and so Clint just shrugs right now and keeps his tone light as he speaks.

“We could do that, see what  some of the others are up to, Nat would probably be up to it, maybe Steve and Sam if they don’t have other plans.”

Bucky tenses up just a bit under him and he shakes his head now, the look in his eyes becoming a bit more nervous looking.

“I was thinking it could be just the two of us, I’ll even pay.”

There is something in Bucky’s tone right now, something Clint isn’t sure about and he just shrugs a bit.

“I was only joking about the bet, you don’t have to pay if you just want to hang out.”

That has to be what this is, Bucky just wants to hang out, it can’t be anything more than that.  Bucky is rolling his eyes now, shifting under him just a bit and before Clint can really react, Bucky leans up  and his lips are on Clint’s.

Clint has thought about this, about what it would be like to kiss Bucky and this is better than what he imagined. His lips are soft and warm against Clint’s, a gentle pressure and he has brought his right hand up to the back of Clint’s neck, has  curled his fingers there.  Clint leans down just a bit more,  brings his own hand to Bucky’s hair,  grips it softly and returns the kiss, opens up his mouth just a bit.  It is a good kiss, simple and sweet and he can feel Bucky smile.  They pull apart after a moment more and Bucky just leans back against the floor, a little flush in his cheeks and eyes alight and Clint wants so much right now, wants Bucky, wants another kiss.

“I don’t want to just hang out, I want this to be a date, I want to be with you, even though you don’t have my words, I think we could make it . So what do you say, is it a date?”

All of Bucky’s words come out in a rush and it takes a moment for them to register in Clint’s brain. Bucky just asked him out, said he wants to be with him, said he wants it even though Clint doesn’t have his words but Clint does have his words and his heart starts to hammer in his chest.  Clint has Bucky’s words and he has never told him and he still doesn’t know if he is right for him, if he is what Bucky needs and he feels frozen right now, not sure what to say. He wants to say yes, god how he wants to say yes, but he has been keeping something from Bucky and he can’t say yes till Bucky knows.

“There is something we need to talk about. I need ……..”

Clint doesn’t get all his words out before the alarm for a mission goes off and Clint knows that there isn’t time to talk right now, he gets up off of Bucky who gets up now as well and there is a look of apprehension on his face and Clint wants to soothe it a bit.

“We’ll talk after this, ok?”

He makes sure Bucky is looking at him and the other man just gives a little nod and Clint hopes he can figure out what to say to him soon. He will worry about it later, for now it is time to focus on the mission, everything else can come later.

 

&&&&&

It is hard to focus on the mission right now, there is a knot of tension in Bucky’s stomach and he can still feel a bit of a tingle in his lips from the kiss earlier. Clint had kissed him back and that should be a good sign but there was something in his eyes when he said there was something that they needed to talk about, something like guilt and worry, and it unsettles Bucky just a bit but he tries not to think about it right now. It isn’t working so well until something happens that takes all of Bucky’s thoughts away from anything else.

Clint takes a hit, a shot through his lower stomach and when Bucky sees it, it is all he can focus on. Clint is bleeding, is hurt and Bucky has to get to him.  He fights his way there, can hear the others in his coms and he knows that the mission can be finished with out him. He has to get to Clint.

He makes it to him and the other man is so pale but he is breathing. There is a little relief in that but not enough and Bucky gets him in his arms quickly, is making his way back to the quinjet, holding Clint close and murmuring almost the whole way.

“It is going to be ok, I know you, it is going to take more than this to take you out. We still have all those eighties movies to watch, don’t forget, you owe me more nutter butters.”

He is at the quinjet now, sits down Clint where he can, puts pressure on his wound. Clint isn’t awake right now but he is still breathing and Bucky just puts pressure on the wound as the others make their way back . There is soon a rush as everyone boards and Sam and Steve are coming over to Bucky now.

“We should move him over there, I can get his wound looked over and get it bandaged till we can get him to medical. “

It is Sam who says this and Bucky just gives a nod but doesn’t move his hands away from the wound. Steve just bends down  and gets Clint in his arms, moves him as Bucky keeps pressure on his wound. He doesn’t let go till Sam tells him to  and he does, moves a little bit away while Steve stays close. He looks down at his hands now, they are red and he hates that it is Clint’s blood making them that color.   Sam meanwhile is getting Clint’s vest off of him, unfastening his pants so he can get a better look at the wound. Bucky can see black along Clint’s hip, knows it is his words but he can’t quite make them out. Steve has looked down as well and he moves after a second, moves closer to Bucky, blocks his view.

“Sam’s going to get it covered up. Let’s clean you up, ok?”

Bucky feels numb and he just lets Steve lead him a little bit away, sits down, lets Steve give him a wipe to clean his hands with. The rest of the flight feels like it takes years though Bucky knows it actually passes fairly quickly.   Soon enough, they are at the facility and Clint is in medical.

Everything is done quickly, the wound treated and Clint is soon in a bed, condition steady.  He still looks too pale but he is alive and Bucky feels relief wash over him.  Clint will be awake soon and Bucky plans to be there or at least he does until Steve pulls him aside.

“You should go to your room, get some rest. “

“I need to be here when he wakes.”

Bucky says this, plans on fighting Steve on this one if he has to but Steve shakes his head a bit.

“When he wakes up, we will let you know but you aren’t going to do him any good if you are dead on your feet. Go get some rest so that when Natasha gets here, you can tell her just what happened in case Clint isn’t up to it.”

Natasha wasn’t on this mission but they have gotten ahold of her and she is on her way. Bucky knows that she will want to know just what happened and he can tell her but not if he is exhausted and Clint may not be up to it. He just gives a nod now, starts to leave but he stops in the doorway for just a moment, takes one more look at Clint.

“As soon as he wakes, I want to know.”

That is all he says and then he leaves the room.

&&&&&

Clint hates waking up in medical but he isn’t really surprised by it. He took a hit during the mission, a pretty bad one , and he is just glad that he is waking up.  He isn’t surprised to be in the med bay but he is a little surprised that Steve is the one by  his bedside.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

“Like I got shot and am now doped up on pain pills.”

It is an honest answer and Steve gives him a bit of an eyeroll.

“Do you think you’re coherent enough to have a talk?”

Those words sound a bit ominous but Clint gives a nod.  Steve just takes a breath and then starts speaking after just a moment.

“After you were wounded, we had to bandage it, took off your vest, lowered your pants a bit.  I saw your words.”

Clint tenses up at this, doesn’t know what to say and Steve continues speaking before he can think of something.

“Bucky said those words to you the first day you meet, said your soulmate words and you said nothing. I want to know why.”

There is anger in Steve’s voice and it is probably justified but Clint doesn’t give his reasons yet, needs to know something first.

“Does Bucky know?”

He asks and his voice shakes just a bit. Steve looks at him for a long moment before answering.

“Not yet, I didn’t let him see but I won’t keep this from him. He deserves to know you have his words and he deserves to know why you didn’t say anything.”

“You’re right, he deserves that, he deserves a lot and that is why I didn’t say anything.”

Clint says this, means it, and he looks Steve in the eyes, needs him to understand.

“You told me about him before I met him, told me about how he was before, I read his file, knew everything he had been through.  He went through hell, had himself ripped to shreds but is still standing, still wants to do good. He deserves more than me.”

“ I think Bucky would argue  with that.  He cares for you, you  understand him, and you have been good for him. You’re a good man, Clint. I think if you care for him the way I think you do , you should let him decide if you deserve him or not. Don’t try to take his choice away from him.”

Steve’s words are honest, sting just a bit, but Clint understands them and everything slides into place. He had been so afraid that he wouldn’t be enough, that he wasn’t good enough, that he has been hurting them both by hiding this.

 “ I do care for him, care for him a lot. I will tell him about the words, let him decide what he wants. You have my word.”

Clint says this and Steve seems reassured by it, gets up now and goes to the door.

“I’m going to tell Bucky you’re awake, he will be by soon. “

That is all Steve says and then he is leaving the room.  Clint has to tell Bucky everything and he just has to hope that he hasn’t messed everything up, has to hope that Bucky will still want him after he knows the truth.

&&&&&

Bucky takes a moment to take a few deep breaths outside of Clint’s door, prepares himself for whatever might happen. Steve came by  just minutes earlier, told him Clint was awake and that he wanted to talk to Bucky about something. Fear and hope are battling inside of Bucky right now and in just a few minutes, one will win out and Bucky tells himself that he can survive either one but he isn’t quite sure that he believes it.  Still it doesn’t do any good to wait too long and so he just takes another breath and opens the door and walks in.

“Hey.”

It is the first thing Clint says and Bucky thinks about how he said it so long ago, how that same word is on his wrist and he just gives Clint a little nod.

“Hey yourself. Steve said you need to talk to me.”

“I do. Have a seat.”

Clint says this, gestures to the chair next to the bed.  Bucky goes to it, sits down and tries not to feel too nervous.

“I just want you to know before anything else, that I like you, like you a lot, liked that kiss, would like to kiss you again, go on that date you talked about before, if you still want to after we are done with this talk.”

Clint says this and Bucky can’t help but smile at it and reaches out for Clint’s hand. Clint doesn’t let him take it and he can feel the happiness deflate just a bit but he tries not to think about it as Clint continues speaking.

“I also want you to know that I never wanted to hurt you, that my reason for not telling you wasn’t because I was afraid of you, wasn’t because I didn’t want you, but it was because I think you need something more than me.”

Bucky isn’t quite sure what Clint is talking about but then Clint is sitting up a bit more, lifts up his shirt and pulls his pants a bit lower, turns so Bucky can see the words on his hip. The sight of them takes Bucky’s breath away and he isn’t sure what to feel.

 He says you can hit the Robin Hood shot. Can you? That is what is written on Clint’s hip, there plain as day and Bucky can feel something tighten in him just a bit. All this time his soulmate was right beside him and he didn’t know, Clint didn’t tell him and he can feel anger rush through him.

“I know I should have told you, it wasn’t fair for you not to know, but I wasn’t sure you would be ok with it.  I didn’t know what to do and so I didn’t say anything to you because I wasn’t  sure if I deserved you, if I could be enough for you.”

Clint’s words are choked out, honest and raw and Bucky can feel all the anger drain from him. Clint didn’t say anything because he didn’t think he would be enough for Bucky and Bucky never said anything about the hey because he felt the same. They have both made a mistake but there is time to fix it. Bucky lifts up the sleeve on his right arm now, holds out it so that Clint can see it.

“I have had this word for a long time and it is the first thing you said to me. At first,  I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t sure you said it to me and you didn’t say anything about your words and then I didn’t say anything because I was afraid. I was afraid of losing you and earlier today I thought I had. I want to try this still, if you want to.”

The words come out and Bucky means every single one. He wants this, wants Clint, and they can deal with everything, he thinks they are both strong enough for it.

“I want to try.”

Clint says this and then he is leaning closer to Bucky, lips brushing his and it is a tentative kiss but it feels like a promise, a hint at the future and Bucky will take it, will take what Clint can give him.

&&&&&

The room is quiet and Clint feels content right now, warm in bed, wrapped in Bucky’s arms and  some days it is still hard to believe that he has this, that he has Bucky.  It is real though and Clint smiles a bit as warm fingers brush over the words on his hip, nestles just a little bit closer to Bucky.

“I am still impressed that you can hit that shot. “

Bucky murmurs this against Clint’s hair then brushes a kiss against his forehead. His voice is just a little sleepy and Clint knows that he will be asleep soon, that they both will be and it has been nice having someone to hold him, to help keep the nightmares away and he brushes a kiss against Bucky’s throat.

“What can I say, I’m pretty impressive.”

He says this and Bucky just  runs his fingers over his hip one more time.

“That you are, part of why I love you.”  
Clint looks up at Bucky as he says this, the first time those exact words have said and he brushes a kiss against his lips before speaking.

“Love you too.”

Bucky’s smile lights up his whole face with those words and it fills Clint with warmth. He still isn’t entirely sure that he deserves Bucky but he has him and Clint isn’t going to let go anytime soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Art work by bucebanenr found here
> 
> http://brucebanenr.tumblr.com/post/149868200615/so-this-is-my-art-for-the-amazing-story-hey


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